


Just another day

by Clints13Arrow



Series: Spideypool 5ever [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Deadpool Thought Boxes, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Pancakes, Rated for Deadpool's Language, Spideypool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 01:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2292578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clints13Arrow/pseuds/Clints13Arrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadpool finds himself strapped down by an evil cliche villian and the boxes aren't much help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just another day

**Author's Note:**

> It could be perceived as either Peter and wade are in a relationship or they're good friends.  
> Enjoy!

Deadpool grunted awake from whatever sleep he had been induced to. His mind was quickly pushing away at its fog and he could hear a voice. 

"I thought with the amount of tranquilizer injected in your system you would sleep for days. But I suppose your healing factor pushed it out. 

"Sorry to disappoint cupcake," Deadpool started trying to move but finding himself strapped down a table that was standing vertical to face whoever kidnapped him. 

"So now that I met my number one fan I guess I should get going. So many people to kill, so little time."   
The man laughed a clichéd evil mastermind laugh that made Deadpool raise an eyebrow.   
( Is this guy serious or did he pop out from some evil cartoon?)   
[How about we focus on getting out first.]   
(And then we 'unalive' him.)  
'As long as he isn't recording a fetish porn. I could get good money for that, but I don't remember signing a contract' Deadpool thought along while the strange creepy man calmed down and moved closer to him.  
"Oh Deadpool, you're not going anywhere. Not until I get what I want."  
"The last time someone told me that they ran away with my left foot. Believe me, Wolvy had a laugh while I hopped around trying to shoot the guy. So dude, just let me go and this will end bloody. Not as bloody as if you don't let me go, but just as bloody."  
"They always did say you talked a lot...none the less," the man mumbled to himself and pulled at a switch that made an electrical charge pass through Deadpool.  
"What the fuck nugget," Deadpool shouted through the electrocution until it stopped.  
"Every snarky remark, and you get electrocuted," advised the stranger.  
"Oh that was electricity? Feels more like a vibrator on low battery. Oh, is this your sexual torture device dude you need new bat--," Deadpool sassed out and once again the shock ran through his body until he was left smokey.  
"If you want beef jerky just buy it. I don't taste good deep fried unless Hannibal cooks me with chianti and fava beans on the side," and another run with electrocution.  
Deadpool spat out blood from his ripped mask that was slightly singed. He glared at the man feeling his bones ache and his muscles twitch underneath his suit. Even though he could heal, it didn't mean he was immune to the pain.  
"Having fun yet," the man asked with a smirk.  
"Better than my last slumber party. But you know what would make this better? Smores, they are awesome."  
Deadpool's muscles flexed anticipating the next shock, but nothing came.  
"Now I want you to tell me about your mark."  
"You know instead of kidnapping me I could kill them and your day would go by all sunshine like."  
"I don't want them dead, I need them," informed the man.  
(We should give him a name so the author can stop writing "the man.")  
[His name is Fred.]  
"Listen Freddy boy, I just get a hit list and maim until I get pretty green bills stuffed in my suit."  
"This one is not a mark you finished though. It's Spider-man," Fred announced his voice resonating through the hollow room.  
Deadpool didn't change his attitude at the revalation but instead snorted, "What's so interesting about Spidey? Other than the fact that he shoots web and has a nice ass."  
"His creation is interesting and extracting his dna will prove useful."  
(Is it just me or do all evil people say their master plan before they get killed?)  
[He should have kept that info to himself, yup, Fred is an amateur.]  
"Seriously Fred, telling me your plan. Come on, this isn't Scooby-doo or Batman and Robin. Tsk tsk, I'm disappointed Freddy."  
(Who's Batman?)

[Sounds like a taxadermist company.]

The shock came stronger through Deadpool's body, he actually bit his tongue. Once the electrocution stopped, he spit out the blood as his tongue was slowly healing itself.  
"Don't worry Deadpool, you're going to tell me everything."  
(Ok I'm bored of this. Just get off your ass and stab Fred in the eye.)  
[Double points for both eyes!]  
Deadpool tried to unshackle himself from the table he was strapped down. But it was too tight on his body and all his hidden weapons were gone.  
(Chop off our arm and throw it at him. That'll scare him.)  
'Yeah, I can't even move my arms to chop off a arm,' Deadpool sighed at his brilliant ideas the boxes told him.  
"Come on let me go, and I'll get spidey for you."  
"I'm not stupid enough to let you go."  
"Touche...but you are stupid," wade smirked before kicking down his boot with as little movement that was allowed and a shot was fired at the switches by the man.  
'Oh shoe guns, nice one writer. I need these now and forever,' Deadpool smirked as he was released and he jump Fred grabbing the man by the throat.  
"Now Freddy, were are my weapons and who else wants spidey?"

Deadpool opened a window directly outside of an apartment and slipped inside.  
"Damn writer, that was sad you cut out the action part where I made brains float. I call that art," Deadpool whined as he dumped his holsters and weaponry on the floor. Deadpool made a beeline for the refrigerator. Opening it wide he was met with leftovers of pizza, tacos, chimichangas and some other stuff that needed to either be warmed or cooked.  
(You know what this calls for. Victory pancakes!)  
"Of course," Deadpool snapped his fingers in realization and moved to the stove to prepare a large dose of delicious pancakes.  
While he focused on mixing the batter he did not realize the door opened. He was busy singing a song outloud, ignoring the person that just stopped at the kitchen.  
"Pancakes," interrupted a voice causing Deadpool to turn away from the fluffy pancakes.  
Standing there was Peter Parker with his arms crossed. He had a small smile as he stared at the mercenary who wore a pink frilly apron and chefs hat over his uniform.  
"Baby boy, pancakes are top of the Deadpool food pyramid along with tacos and other delicious Mexican food."  
Peter rolled his eyes, "How was your day?"  
"Well let's see. I had to help an old lady cross the street but then she beat me with her hand bag. Or should I say rock bag. And then these dogs ran away from the pound and I chased them down. Luckily they accepted me into their pack, and we meet every Tuesday to discuss the destruction of cats. Should not have told you that, its top secret. And then the world was about to explode but luckily it didn't because I was there and convinced the aliens to buy video games instead of destroying planets. That was my day, sadly no one had an unfortunate accident."  
"Sounds better than school," Peter remarked sitting on the small table as Deadpool set down a stack of pancakes in front of him  
Peter noticed the singed costume Deadpool still wore but didn't know wether to ask about it or not. Sometimes it was none of his business to ask. So he kept his curiosity at bay and focused on the pancakes even if it was the afternoon.  
"Enjoy sweetums," Deadpool cooed kissing the top of Peter's head. Nothing would ever hurt Spider-man, not while Wade Wilson lived.


End file.
